The Fragile Dance of Love and Happiness: Embracing the Impermanent

 

The Fragile Dance of Love and Happiness: Embracing the Impermanent

If you’ve ever turned to Google for the definition of love, you’ve probably seen something like this: Love is a strong feeling of closeness and care for someone. It’s often described as a combination of emotions and behaviors—intimacy, passion, commitment. But when love is simply defined as a “set of emotions,” it reveals an uncomfortable truth: emotions, by their very nature, are temporary. One day you might be swept off your feet by someone, and the next, that same love might seem to fade, slip through your fingers like sand. If love is tied to our ever-shifting emotions, then what does that say about its permanence? The harsh answer: love, as we often know it, is not meant to last forever.

This realization leads us to another question: What about happiness?

The Fleeting Nature of Happiness: A Moment or a Meaning?

Happiness, too, isn’t immune to this impermanence. Google’s definition will tell you that happiness is a state of well-being and contentment, or a feeling of joy. But this seemingly simple idea hides a complex reality. Happiness is not some static state we can cling to—it’s something we experience in fleeting moments, often when life aligns just right. A burst of laughter with friends, the warm glow of achievement, the quiet contentment of a Sunday afternoon.

But is that enough? Is happiness truly just a collection of moments, strung together like fragile beads on a string, ready to break with the slightest tug of life’s inevitable hardships? Or is there something deeper, something more lasting?

Consider the pure, unfiltered happiness people experience when they are with their pets, or when they are volunteering, giving without expecting anything in return. That’s happiness untainted by conditions, untouched by expectations. It’s the kind of happiness that doesn’t disappear when the applause dies down or when no one is watching. It feels different because it is different—it stems from something deeper, a sense of meaning and purpose. When love and happiness are tied to expectations, they become brittle, ready to shatter the moment reality doesn’t match the ideal.

Love and Happiness: Bound by Expectations, Broken by Reality

We often speak of love as if it’s a force that will carry us through anything—a fairy tale that tells us “Happily ever after" is a promise, not a possibility. But reality paints a very different picture. Especially in cultures where marriage is seen as the ultimate expression of love, like in India, where arranged marriages have historically been celebrated as the cornerstone of family stability. But here’s the secret no one likes to talk about: many of these marriages endure not because of undying love, but because of societal expectations, financial dependencies, and the weight of tradition.

For generations, women in India were financially dependent on men, making the idea of leaving a marriage unthinkable, no matter how unhappy they were. Staying together wasn’t necessarily a choice born out of love, but out of necessity. Fast forward to today, where both partners often have financial independence and more freedom to make their own decisions. Marriage in modern India looks very different. It’s not about fulfilling societal expectations; it’s about personal happiness. If one partner feels unfulfilled, if the joy and love that once existed fades, the decision to walk away has become far more acceptable.

Happiness vs. Being "Happy": The Delicate Balance of Contentment

One of the most profound realizations in life is understanding that being happy and happiness are not the same thing. True happiness often arises from finding meaning in our lives. It’s that quiet, deep-seated contentment that comes from knowing your existence matters. It's in the way your dog looks at you with unconditional love, or in the quiet joy of helping someone with no expectation of anything in return. These are moments that transcend time, moments where happiness is not bound to fleeting pleasures but to something more profound—purpose.

On the other hand, being "happy" is often a temporary state. A compliment, a gift, a gesture can make us feel momentarily elated, but how long does that feeling last? Imagine someone brings you flowers, and for a moment, you feel special, loved. But what happens when those same flowers are given to someone else in front of you? The happiness you felt suddenly evaporates, overshadowed by doubt, insecurity, or jealousy. Conditional happiness is fragile; it’s like building a house of cards that a single gust of wind can collapse.

The Myth of Eternal Love: Only in Stories

The concept of "true love" has been romanticized in literature, movies, and fairy tales for centuries. We’re told that real love is selfless, enduring, and unwavering. But let’s be honest—true love, the kind that demands ultimate sacrifice, only exists in stories because it’s too idealized to survive in the real world. Real love is messy, unpredictable, and yes, often temporary. It ebbs and flows, evolves, and sometimes, it ends.

Remember the old parable of the fakeer (ascetic) and the wealthy tycoons like Adani and Ambani? The fakeer is rich in his simplicity, free from desires, while those who endlessly chase wealth, power, and validation are the ones who are truly poor—always hungry for more, never satisfied. This extends to love and happiness too. Those who constantly seek more from love—more validation, more fulfillment—may find themselves chasing a mirage, never fully experiencing the lasting peace that comes from accepting love as it is, not as we wish it to be.

Conclusion: The Dance Between Love and Happiness

As we navigate the turbulent waters of life, it's essential to remember that both love and happiness are fragile, ever-changing. They are not permanent fixtures, but dynamic, fluid emotions that ebb and flow like the tides. And perhaps that’s the beauty of it.

We may never find the "forever" love that fairy tales promise, and happiness may not be an unbroken state of bliss. But in embracing their impermanence, we can find deeper meaning in the fleeting moments of joy, the quiet acts of love, and the realization that life’s greatest gifts are not the ones that last forever, but the ones that change us along the way.

In the end, maybe it’s not about holding onto love or happiness, but learning to cherish them while they last, and finding peace when they fade.