When Justice Ascends: CJI Chandrachud’s Divine Courtroom Drama

 

When Justice Ascends: CJI Chandrachud’s Divine Courtroom Drama

CJI D. Y. Chandrachud Seeking Divine Intervention in Legal Rulings

The Modern-Day India

India’s judiciary has always held a cherished reputation for grounding its verdicts in reason, the Constitution, and, you know, actual laws. But recent revelations from Chief Justice D.Y. Chandrachud have brought a refreshing twist to the entire process—no longer limited to mere mortals, it seems justice has ascended, quite literally, to divine inspiration. In a candid moment, the CJI admitted that his rulings weren’t just about boring legal statutes; he had, as he put it, received guidance from above. And not from the usual “above” that legal minds defer to, like a Supreme Court precedent, but from the realms of the celestial.

It’s almost poetic, really. Imagine the scene: a packed courtroom, attorneys sweating over intricate legal arguments, weighed down by tomes of precedents, and there, at the helm, sits the CJI. But before anyone could even throw out a “My Lord,” the CJI raises a hand, and with gravitas declares, “I had a vision.” Just like that, what could have been a day of law and order turns into something out of ancient mythology. Gone is the emphasis on legal rigor; instead, all eyes turn to await the judgment handed down from… well, the stars, apparently.

And what a system this promises to be! Just think of the possibilities. Court cases resolved not by exhausting legal procedures, but by a solid night’s sleep. Evidence and witness testimonies are so passé—why bother with due process when all it takes is one ethereal vision? Lawyers and their 400-page petitions can take a backseat, because who knows? Perhaps a late-night prophecy could settle everything from corporate lawsuits to political incarcerations.

Now, let’s not kid ourselves—this divine hotline, it seems, doesn’t always dial for every case. For opposition leaders like Manish Sisodia and Sanjay Singh, who found themselves detained with nothing more than a whisper of suspicion, the celestial communications appeared to be… conveniently on silent mode. Evidently, the gods of justice were busy or perhaps engaged in a round of cosmic deliberations. Yet, when it came to intervening in Rahul Gandhi’s disqualification, suddenly, the skies cleared, and guidance was at hand. Timing, as they say, is everything.

One can only marvel at the convenience of this selective reception. And the pattern is unmistakable—some people just seem to be favored by the cosmic plan, while others are left wondering if their plea simply didn’t meet the supernatural bandwidth.

But why stop here? Let’s take it a step further—if divine inspiration is to be the new norm, why shouldn’t our entire judicial system evolve accordingly? Law schools could scrap the dusty old casebooks and introduce “Dream Analysis for the Judiciary” or “Astrology 101: Judging by the Stars.” We can already picture it: budding lawyers learning the fine art of gazing at the heavens to interpret lunar omens as they prep for court. Who needs the rigors of constitutional law when you can become proficient in the art of divine revelation?

And wouldn’t it be splendid if every case had a bit of that celestial glow? Imagine the economy of time and resources! No lengthy deliberations, no appeals. The verdicts? Just a night’s sleep away, if you happen to be in the right cosmic favor. Who knows, maybe our entire justice system could be overhauled with a little help from horoscopes.

Yet, one must commend the courage of the CJI to break away from the usual, outdated notion of justice. Why settle for mundane earthly wisdom when the mysteries of the universe are just a slumber away? And while we’re at it, perhaps the divine messenger might share some tips on corruption, election ethics, or even point out the fine line between impartial justice and political favoritism—if it’s not too much trouble for the gods, of course.

So, as we stand on the cusp of this new dawn in jurisprudence, the citizens of India can only wait with bated breath. Perhaps the next revelation will enlighten us on little details like unbiased rulings, constitutional checks, and, dare we hope, justice for all? For now, all we can do is look up, hope, and keep our ears open for the next divine proclamation to descend upon the hallowed halls of justice. After all, who needs mundane, earthly courts when we can rest assured that our fate rests in the hands of the cosmos?