Ak Chutki Sindoor Ki Kimat? Ask the Wife: He Ghosted

 

Ak Chutki Sindoor Ki Kimat? Ask the Wife: He Ghosted

Ladies and gentlemen, gather 'round and behold: India’s longest-running reality show, starring none other than the man, the myth, the merchandise, Narendra Modi.

In the latest episode, our beloved performer-in-chief looked deep into the camera, voice trembling, and declared that sindoor, yes, that pinch of vermilion worn by married women, is sacred. Sacred enough to milk for votes, that is.

And who better to discuss the sanctity of sindoor than a man who took marital vows, then ghosted his wife like a bad Tinder date and never looked back? A man who believes in the symbolism of marriage so much, he chose to symbolically never participate in it. Bravo. Truly, we are watching the Meryl Streep of Indian politics minus the subtlety.

But don’t bother pointing out the irony. His followers, sorry, devotees, aren’t here for facts. They’re here for the feels. These are not voters; these are extras in the Bollywood biopic he’s writing about himself. To question him is to blaspheme. To criticize him is to invite a 200-comment thread about Nehru on your Facebook wall.

And what about governance? Oh, sweet summer child, that’s not the plotline. This show isn’t about policy, it’s about vibes. Economics, foreign policy, and internal security minor footnotes compared to Modi’s wardrobe changes and heroic camera angles. He can shut down parliament, but god forbid you miss his 4K slow-mo walk on a tarmac.

And let’s talk about the bhakts, those tireless, unpaid interns of Modi's myth-making machine. They’re rewriting epics, comparing him to Lord Krishna, Vishnu, and occasionally Iron Man, depending on the meme of the day. These keyboard warriors have achieved something extraordinary: transforming a nation of thinkers into a nation of forwards.

They cheer when he wears military fatigues, even though he’s never served a day. They swoon when he hugs foreign leaders like a clingy ex. They quote his slogans like holy scripture, even as the economy flatlines. Unemployment? Blame Congress. Inflation? Blame Jawaharlal’s ghost. Floods? Must be Rahul Gandhi’s tears.

Meanwhile, real issues jobs, healthcare, and education, are filed away in a drawer labeled “Too Boring.” Why worry about policy when you’ve got plot twists? Like the time Modi rescued a baby crocodile, or that gripping moment when he stared pensively into the ocean, presumably searching for the ₹15 lakh he promised to deposit into every citizen’s account.

Let’s not forget his foreign policy highlights: Remember when Trump called, and Modi rolled over like a golden retriever who just wants a belly rub? India, the once-proud sovereign power, is now just another contestant on “America’s Got Puppets.”

And the cherry on this absurdist cake? His fanboys now compare him to Krishna, the cosmic strategist, philosopher, God of compassion, and destruction. Because nothing screams divine wisdom like inaugurating a temple to yourself while your country is burning.

So, dear citizens, as election season rolls around and the orchestra swells for another Modi monologue, ask yourself:

Do you want a leader? Or do you want a TV character with a really good PR team?

Because Modi isn’t running a country. He’s running a brand. And India? We’re just the consumers binge-watching our decline.

Next week on Modi: The Series, a new scheme, a new slogan, and maybe another heartfelt ode to a cultural symbol he ignored. Don’t miss it. Sponsored by Facts Not Included.


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