Population Control by Disaster: Modi’s Revolutionary New Governance Model

 

Population Control by Disaster: Modi’s Revolutionary New Governance Model

Image from Hindustan Times: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InNfFiww72w

So, Prime Minister Narendra Modi has finally cracked the code on population control. Who needs family planning when you can just collapse bridges, derail trains, let floods run wild, and casually outsource terror? After all, it's far more efficient to reduce numbers through calamities than through policy. Bravo!

When Modi swept into power with the slogan Sabka Saath, Sabka Vikas, many imagined he meant inclusive development. Eleven years later, we now understand the real intent: Sabka Saath, Adani-Ambani Ka Vikas. Turns out the “all” referred to public money, and the “development” was laser-focused on a very select clientele. Who knew economic trickle-down would be replaced by an outright siphon?

Take yesterday’s train accident in Maharashtra. Another avoidable tragedy. Another round of thoughts and prayers. In any functioning democracy, heads would roll. In fact, once upon a time, when India still had a conscience, Railway Minister Lal Bahadur Shastri resigned after a single train accident, taking moral responsibility. That was the 1950s.

Fast forward to today’s ultra-modern, corruption-optimized BJP government, and accountability is just a word on Independence Day speeches. The current Railway Minister? Living large, Instagram-ready, sipping privilege like champagne, and not a hint of remorse. Meanwhile, the Home Minister is busy weaponizing agencies like CBI and ED to hunt opposition leaders like it’s a sport. No charges needed, just vibes and vendettas.

And the supreme leader himself? The Prime Minister, decked out in designer monkey suits (no joke, look it up), is on another stage somewhere, congratulating himself for how much he’s done for the people. It’s a masterclass in image over impact. The country burns, the trains derail, and he’s floating on a cloud of self-congratulation and holograms.

But don’t worry, the Bhakt Brigade has it covered. “Too many people,” they say. Of course! When infrastructure collapses and services fail, it’s not a lack of funding or planning, it’s just overpopulation. Naturally, when billions are funneled into private conglomerates instead of public systems, the solution must be fewer people, not better governance.

And speaking of funding, let’s talk about the genius economics of Modi’s much-hyped free food program. For every kilogram of food worth ₹20, taxpayers cough up ₹100. That’s not inefficiency. That’s job creation, according to the faithful. Because nothing says progress like five layers of middlemen and a side of embezzlement.

Privatization is working wonders too. Public assets are handed over to oligarchs like wedding gifts, while taxpayers enjoy the exciting experience of paying more for less, or, occasionally, dying in a preventable accident. Ah, the sweet scent of development.

But wait, there’s more. The media, affectionately known as Godi media, has discovered a new goldmine: inviting Pakistani commentators on air just to yell at them for TRPs. It’s reality TV meets geopolitical cosplay. Nothing boosts ratings like choreographed outrage and scripted patriotism. Journalism has evolved. It’s now performance art.

And then we have the Election Commission, apparently inspired by spy thrillers. They’re now issuing unsigned responses to critical questions from the Leader of Opposition, plausible deniability built in. When truth finally cracks through the PR armor, they’ll simply shrug and say, “Wasn’t us.”

Fortunately, this time, the opposition isn't playing dead. The LOP is calling the bluff, refusing to let fake paperwork and media spin cover up institutional rot. But in classic Godi media style, they’ve responded by branding this push for accountability as immature. High school-level, they say. In India 2025, questioning the powerful is childish, and cheering for them, regardless of facts, is mature.

Corruption is one thing. Corruption backed by intimidation is something far worse: it’s authoritarianism with a saffron filter.

So here we are. A nation of 1.5 billion, held hostage by a few million loudspeakers and a trillion-rupee illusion. Maybe, just maybe, it’s time to stop inhaling the incense smoke of nationalism and start noticing the actual stink coming from the wreckage.

Wake up, India. Before this disaster management regime turns into a permanent population control plan.